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November 14, 2004Get behind me, "Halo 2"
I went to a party in Los Angeles yesterday evening--a 24th birthday party, for my friend Eve. My ex and I went in dutch to buy her a plastic elephant that defecates cigarettes when you push down on its trunk. Yeah, only the classiest gift would suffice for dear Eve.
One of the two guys living at the party site (not Eve's place) owns "Halo 2," so I finally got a chance to see what it's all about. I'd never even seen the first "Halo" before last night. I wasn't sure how I'd react. Would I succumb to the "Halo" addiction? Would I sell my organs to buy my own XBox and spend every waking moment playing the game?
In a word, no.
I played for perhaps 15 or 20 minutes, and got spanked. Handily. I spent much of the time trying to figure out which button was going to let me swap weapons and running in circles around a level map the layout of which thoroughly eluded me. Every now and then, the other guy would pop up with his rocket-launcher (which wouldn't respawn since he had it, thus turning my serial annihilation into a serious examination of the issue of class warfare in video games--the haves versus the have-nots, if you will) and splattered me all over the beautifully rendered landscape.
As my viscera bubbled and blossomed time and time again, I saw two paths before me.
The first path was one of casual "Halo" play, a path that would basically set me up to be everybody's frag-puppy on XBox Live. Oh, what fun.
The second path was that of the "Halo" addict, down which all my free time would be sacrificed in order to hone my (eventually) mad skillz.
That's when I put down the controller and had me a slice of pizza.
Posted by patrick at November 14, 2004 04:22 AM
CommentsDon't be sad. I've read that Xbox puts newbie sensors into the controllers. When activated, those senosrs cripple your character, swap the buttons, or slaps a big, neon target onto your ass. They smell your fear and frustration, so step into it proud (or drunk) and you will prevail, my friend.
Posted by: James at November 16, 2004 09:53 AM
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