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August 21, 2004In the land of the blind, Patrick Seitz is king
I'm getting mighty tired of living sans glasses, as I have for the last week now. I'm hoping to get my replacement specs on Monday, but there's no guarantee. The folks at the optometrist's realize I don't have a back-up pair to wear in the meantime, but that doesn't mean a thing to the folks on the UCR side of things who have to approve the paperwork, read the entrails, roll the I Ching, etc. before I can return to the land of the sighted.
I keep clipping things as I walk, which would be really embarrassing if it weren't so much like what happens when I can see just fine, too.
I'm a bit ashamed of myself. A week into this, and only now did it occur to me that this would be a capital time to wear a pirate-style eye-patch. I mean, hey...as long as I can't see anyway, I can do any damn thing with my eyes that i want. Walk around with a welder's maks? Or swim goggles? I could tie a rag around my eyes and pretend to manipulate reality, a la Neo in the last "Matrix" film.
Maybe I'll go looking for an eye-patch tomorrow, if I wake up early enough to run that errand before hanging out with my friend Karen, who's driving into town especially to see...not me. But, as she was going to be around anyway, we decided to hang out before she hooks up with her friend who prompted her drive in the first place.
My eyes are too taxed to look over this for typos. We'll just pretend there aren't any. Yeah, that's the ticket...
Posted by patrick at August 21, 2004 02:53 AM
CommentsYou should wear swim googles! It worked incredibly well for a friend of mine at picking up sexy complements during our last swim party.
Posted by: Steph at August 21, 2004 10:51 AM
As you live walking distance from a Rite-Aid, you should have no problems procuring an eye-patch in little time and with no danger to motor vehicles. Just remember, it's your turn to cross the street when you hear the beeps.
Once you have the patch, however, you will be hindered by the disparity between the idea of an eye-patch and the reality of what one looks like. It will wind up looking all clinical, or medicinal, or something otherwise neither romantic nor piratey. Thus I assume you'd just use your experience in the theater to weather it down a bit.
Posted by: Mad Monarch Voards at August 21, 2004 08:36 PM
But Steph -- swim goggles are only sexy when worn with a speedo... and Ian Thorpe's body.
Posted by: Jon at August 23, 2004 10:55 PM
Very true Jon. However, if we're going to bring Ian Thorpe's body into the matter--and I think you'll agree--he'd look way more sexier ditching the speedo. A la...what was the word you used...nekkid. ;)
Posted by: Steph at August 24, 2004 04:17 PM
How about Ian Thorpe, wearing a pirate-style eye-patch and nothing else? That should keep Jon and Steph busy, at least.
And I'll order up a cadre of women's volleyball, softball, and basketball players to be decided later, for Voards and me, in keeping with the Olympic spirit.
Posted by: Patrick Seitz at August 24, 2004 06:12 PM
Wait a sec! Patrick and Voards get to share whole teams of women, while Jon and I have to share one man? That's not fair! Besides, I've never been really good at the whole sharing thing. You better order up a few guys from men's diving, swimming, and water polo to allow us some variety...and a little extra Olympic spirit.
Also, are you sure you can handle all those women Patrick? Hope you realize a lot of them are taller and bigger than you. Don't want you getting in over your head. ;)
Posted by: Steph at August 24, 2004 09:27 PM
I knew ounce I had to wear an eye pactch I should make one with a pirate on itso I did!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Bobbi-jo at September 13, 2004 12:35 PM
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