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April 10, 2004Arrrrrr! Pirate jokes a-plenty, matey!
Who's up for some lame pirate jokes? All of these are original, to my knowledge--I wouldn't be surprised if similar flashes of pirate humor brilliance had already manifested themselves to others, independently of my having thought of them.
Where do pirates keep their records?
In the arrrrr-chives.
What kills most pirates?
Hardening of the arrrrrrr-teries.
How do pirates feel about their ships?
Arrrrrr-dently.
What do pirate children ask their parents during a long sea-trip?
"Arrrrrre we there yet?"
Who is a pirate's favorite action star?
Arrrrrrr-nold Schwartzenegger.
What is a pirate's favorite high school activity?
ArrrrrrOTC.
Who is a pirate's favorite Greek goddess?
Arrrrrrr-temis.
What’s a pirate's favorite play?
“Arrrrrr Town”.
Which band is a pirate's favorite
Arrrrr.E.M. (unless he's an older pirate, in which case he prefers ArrrrEO Speedwagon).
What's a pirate's favorite song?
Aretha Franklin's "Arrrrr-E-S-P-E-C-T".
Who's a pirate's favorite "Star Wars" character?
Arrrrr2-D2
Don't let me have all the fun. Share your favorite pirate jokes, original or otherwise.
Posted by patrick at April 10, 2004 05:26 AM
CommentsWhat's a pirate's favorite movie?
"Raiders of the Lost Arrrrr-k"
What do pirate's call shore-leave?
Arrrrr and Arrrrr
Which president do pirates admire?
FD-Arrrrr
What's a pirate's favorite car?
Honda Civic Arrrr-Type
For which movie studio do pirate's prefer to work?
Arrrrr-K-O
Whew. Stop me now...
Posted by: Jon Bastian at April 10, 2004 03:49 PM
a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender tells the pirate "hey pirate! you got a steering wheel on your crotch!" the pirate responds "arrrr, its driving me nuts!"
Posted by: kyle at April 11, 2004 02:23 PM
What is piratophobia?
Fear of sunken chest!
Have you heard about the new pirate movie? It's rated AARRRRGGH! And do you know why? Because of all the booty!
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg, but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "What happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Posted by: Steph at April 11, 2004 03:48 PM
Who's a pirates favorite martyr (M-Arrr-tyr)
Joan of Arrrr-c
Where do pirates shop for sporting goods?
Arrr E.I.
If a pirate has bad breath, what should he do?
GArrrgle!
Where do pirates eat fast food?
Arrrby's
Where do pirates hang their clothes?
In an Arrrmoire.
Do pirates read pirate porn?
Nay, me lad, they only read it for the Arrrticles.
and finally...
What's a pirates favorite letter in the alphabet?
"7"
Pirates can't read, dumbass.
I think my girlfriend has been tortured long enough.
:)
Posted by: James at April 14, 2004 12:12 AM
Speaking of pirates
Posted by: Jon Bastian at May 13, 2004 03:01 AM
Speaking of pirates
Posted by: Jon Bastian at May 13, 2004 03:01 AM
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