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February 22, 2004It's like blaming the infertile for child abuse...
Here's a gem from Herr Schwarzenegger in a recent NBC interview about why the gay marriages taking place in San Francisco are verbotin:
"In San Francisco it is license for marriage of same sex. Maybe the next thing is another city that hands out licenses for assault weapons and someone else hands out licenses for selling drugs, I mean you can't do that."
That's right, folks--not only is gay marriage a dire threat to the institution of marriage, but now it's helping your kids OD in the schoolyard and gunning down your grandmas on their way back from bingo. See, that just shows how wrong I can be sometimes. I was under the tragically misguided assumption that our country's 60% divorce rate was to be blamed on the heterosexuals, seeing as how they're the only folks allowed to dabble in it.
Hey, here's a thought. If the conservatives are really so worried about the sanctity of the martial institution, they should just outlaw heterosexual marriage. I mean, hey, we've buggered it up enough, right?
Posted by patrick at February 22, 2004 09:58 AM
CommentsAnd let's not forget Britney's 50 hour travesty...
Ah-nuld's dabbling in this issue got me so pissed off that I actually sent an email to the Governator, asking him two things. First: how is it that gay marriage does any damage to straight marriage? Damned if I can tell. If anything, gay people clamoring to get married should have a snow-ball effect of making the institution more popular, and prod all those shacked up straight couple to tie the knot. After all, look at all the other effects we've had on society. Where the hell did all those damn metrosexuals get their ideas, after all?
But -- the second question I asked the governor was this. If he's so hot on California following laws passed by Californians, then what does he think about Prop 215, which legalized Medical Marijuana? Hey, like the anti-gay marriage Prop 22, it was passed by the voters. So -- if he's going to be consistent, he's got to start whining for the free medicinal pot too, right?
And, actually, this is what I predict for gay marriage -- if it ever happens, then it spells the end for the decadent lifestyle of all the gay ghettos in America. First it's the crystal patterns, then the adoptions, and then the SUVs and soccer practice. Yeah, that's right. Gay marriage won't hurt the straight community. It'll hurt the gay community, by turning us into... well, pseudo-heterosexuals, with all the life-numbing responsibilities. The day that gay marriage is finally made really legal is the day that you'll start to see the bars replaced with Gymborees and day care centers.
And that's the great irony that the far rightwing doesn't get. Want to mainstream the gay community real fast and shut them up? Then let the marriage licenses roll. After all, it's damn near impossible to be an activist when you have to get up for the 2 a.m. feeding or change the crappy nappy every two hours. End result, married gay couples will get as boring and innocuous as married straight couples in about ten minutes, and web porn will be replaced with endless baby photos...
Posted by: Jon Bastian at February 22, 2004 10:20 PM
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