Dude, that's a mullet. A mullet is used to shade the already sunburned red neck of a redneck in order to prevent it from turning purple and thereby changing the identifying feature of said redneck (from "The Dictionary of Sam," pg. 435). I feel that overhang of hair would fulfill such a purpose. Therefore, it is a mullet. Hey Pat! Can I borrow your tractor later this week?

During this post the top/front/side portion of any givin hair style will be referred to as SECTION A, and the back portion of any hairstyle will be referred to as SECTION B.--

To Sam- Your definition of the mullet, while good, is simply incomplete. Based on the definition you gave, your mother most likely has a mullet, as does my mother (and sister, grandmother, and my hippie ass uncle). Unfortunately, your defintion left out two very important defining factors, which I will discuss, in detail.

1) A mullet is not merely a covering of the neck (which is why the term "Norco Neck Warmer" is so misleading) but a combination of short hair on SECTION and long in SECTION B (hence the term "business in front, party in the back"). Look closely at SECTION A of Patrick's head. The hair is clearly combed back. If allowed to lay straight it would have very will covered parts of his ear. This is, sadly, too long of hair on the side to consider it a mullet. Now, if the hair of SECTION B had been longer (at least past the shoulders), then you would be able to justify calling this monstrosity of a hair style a mullet. With the length of SECTION B on Pat's head, SECTION A should have been much shorter (think flat top). Patrick clearly just needed a hair cut.

2) In order to have a bona fide mullet, there must be the actual intent and desire to look like you beat your wife and listen to Motley Crue. You see, one of the many unknown mysteries of the mullet is the wearer actually believes it is cool. The mullet is not simply a hairstyle it's an attitude, a statement, and most importantly, a lifestyle. Wearers of the mullet posses a quality that is unknown to any normal man (which Patrick clearly does not posses). It truly does take a special kind of man to pull off that 'untamed, yet refined' look that only a mullet can bring.

Now, do not get me wrong, I would love to say "SEITZ HAS A MULLET..." all day long, but I know in my heart that that is just not the case. Bad hair cut? Definitely. But not a mullet. (But why the hell is anybody worrying about the mullet thing? Doesn't anybody else notice that Patrick has NO EYES!)

Yeah, I agree with Kyle. Not a mullet. It defies the definition, which is "Business in the front, party in the rear..." Too long in front there to be a mullet.

Besides, you obviously also have all your own teeth and aren't wearing a tractor-pull T-Shirt (hell, you are wearing a shirt), which drastically decreases the mulletude of the doo.

Patrick,

I must agree that the defining feature of a mullet is not in fact the length of the hair in the back; the 'party' section as it were; but the length, and/or method of obtaining length in the front and side, or 'business' section of the 'do. Cleary you are working a 'party' section pretty hard in this photo. HOWEVER, this could also have been sheer laziness on your part and quite likely the catalyst for the impassioned pleads of your parents to "GET A HAIR CUT!!!"

There is also some supicious feathering on the sides...and then there is the smoking gun...the ear section... A close examination (well, not really close, per say, it is kind of obvious) will reveal that the hair around the ears was not so long as to require that you tuck it. You ear is barely obstructed! There is also a conspicious indentation behind the ear that COULD serve as a line of demarkation between the 'business' and 'party' segment of the offending 'do. The fact that the 'business' section is not more closely cut trouble me though. It seems that more maitainence and effort would be attributed to this section if it were a true mullet.

One final study of the exhibit supplied a reasonable doubt as to the existence of a mullet. YOU APPEAR TO HAVE WAVY HAIR! As anyone with wavy hair knows (I am now raising my hand), there is a key point in length at which the hair goes 'bad'. It starts to flip, dent , feather etc. Clearly your hair does all of the above.

My final verdict than is that you were an innocent victim of wavy hair in the midst of the akward stage and not a connoisseur of the distasteful mullet. Be careful as you grow out the buzz cut. We wouldn't want this kind of thing to happen again

Nah, doesn't look like a mullet....believe me, I've seen mullets! About 2 guys in my class have them...it's just obvious. Patrick, that does not look like a mullet.

No mullet mentality, so no mullet. It's more like a mop with a little paint brush saying "Hi" off in the corner.

First off, we have to look at the gold standard of mullets, Billy Ray Cryus, before we begin creating definitions of mullets

http://musicfinder.yahoo.com/artist/photos/1800171289/434382

Second, all the previous mullet definitions have been much to subjective. To truely determine a mullet you have to look at the ratio between the lenghts of the back section and the front (back/front). When the back section exceeds the front section in length, you have a mullet (ratio > 1). Therefor a guy with a buzz on top and just a little puff of hair on the back would have a mullet. Longer hair on top requires longer hair on the back to maintain the mullet ratio. Long hair all over does not constitute a mullet since the ratio would be less than 1.

So based on my true and accurate definition, Pat does not have a mullet although it does appear that his ratio is approaching 1. He seems to be close to the "ullet" stage.

That's not a mullet, and neither is ol' Billy Ray there. Now THIS is a mullet...

i just want to reiterate that that's not a mullet.

p.s. F*CK ARNOLD

And I just wanted to reiterate: Fuck ArNOld!

PS: It's still not a mullet...

Wow, major Arnold animosity! Still, do we have to drag poor Patrick's would-be (but ISN'T)mullet into this!!

Koskella: NO!! Not Funny!!!

Its official, Florida is not the dumbest state in the U.S anymore. Oh yea, Seitz hair is not a mullet.

OMFFFFFFFFFFFG! THAT IS A MULLET, ALRIGHTY. I'm scarred for life. Thank you. Have a hotdog.